I have come to a realization, and I don't know how truthful it is or isn't to my work. I feel that I will a) never be able to obtain a purity that some of my inspirations achieve, and b) that the pursuit of this purity is actually detrimental to my work and my sanity/happiness. My work will never be as pure in style as Robert Wilson, Romeo Castellucci, Ohad Naharin, Carlos Soto, etc etc. I see my peers obtaining some semblance at purity of image, but each time I attempt this, I feel that it is contrived and a false purity. I'm starting to think that my work operates best as an imperfect image. An image with grit, dirt, humor, lies. I think this is why I find myself so drawn to clowning. Clowning creates a very unique world, and I feel it's a world that I inhabit better than the one Robert Wilson creates. I mean, would I really suit this world:
I think my work, and the way my head processes images is more suited for this world:
but most likely, I am somewhere in between. I think my aesthetic is a campy-Robert-Wilson-piece. RW does clowns. Like his baby-Marina's in LADOMA:
I think the more I go that route, the better my art will get, and the happier and saner I will be.
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